Holding on and letting be

Eight years ago I promised to take our middle daughter on a day trip to Guernsey. I knew she would love the ferry and the sense of adventure. The girl who begged for a whole crab for her 3rd birthday would have her mind blown by a Seafood platter. would blow her mind. I thought it would be a great way to mark the end of primary school.

But I never managed it.

Unexpectedly we were both free this half term and I decided it was time to finally make good on that promise before she leaves for university.

As a girl I sailed into St Peter’s port for a brief stay and a postcard image of a tiny chapel decorated with shells had hooked into my heart. Wouldn’t it be fun to finally be able to visit it and explore some of the coves and lanes on the rest of the island.

Our day trip morphed into a few nights stay and on Bank Holiday Monday we set sail on a wonderfully turbulent sea to enjoy some island time together.

In my mind I still wanted her to experience the exciting fruit de Mer that I associate with crossing the channel and I wanted to see that tiny seashell chapel. What a treat it would be to share two girlhood jewels of memory with my daughter.

But time moves on. Now we travel as two adults.

Since my original promise, our daughter has discovered sailing herself and was able to share memories of adventures she’d had in St. Peter’s Port and from taking the bus round the island. What a joy to hear them.

Fruit de Mer’s no longer in fashion so we delighted in crab sandwiches and fresh mussels. Wow they tasted good.

And the chapel? Well, that too had changed.

The Little Chapel, Guernsey

It was renovated in 2016 and though it still has some shells in it's decoration, it’s mostly clothed in a mosaic of vibrant ceramics. Though I felt a moment of sadness, we both loved seeing it as it is, especially as we had it all to ourselves.

Those jewels of memory sparkle still in my mind but they are not ours and never could be. What a lesson that was.

Ours are cliffside walks, sunset beaches, Guernsey ice cream and each other.

Now home, those memories will remind me to hold on and honour those precious, cherished intentions I set whilst also allowing those hopes and dreams to find their own expression in the moment.

What dreams or intentions in your life feel long overdue? If you’d value voicing them, I’d love to hear from you. Who knows what adventure might get unlocked?