Advent - A Season of Preparation

To develop my ability to fully welcome whoever comes and stay present to what they bring, I seek supervision for the work I do. There I’m encouraged to notice what’s going on for me in my work encounters. Advent in the west comes with shortening days which encourage us to turn inwards and consider how we can be more welcoming to God with all God reveals.

After I offer spiritual direction, I take time to ask - did I feel connected to God/Love throughout that encounter and if not, where did I go, what did I feel? Am I trusting God/Love in this relationship and in this persons’ life? If not, why? These are powerful questions that ask whether my presence is flowing from my own rooting in God/Love or from somewhere else. To be more fully present to this person, what am I being invited to bring to God/Love to have healed?

In a recent supervision session, I was exploring how it is to accompany someone who is fearful of intimacy with God and I realised that the tension I was experiencing was due to my own unresolved feelings toward Jesus. Not a comfortable insight for someone rooted in the Christian tradition who believes Jesus’s life reveals deep truths about God.

When I read the gospel accounts (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) I encounter different aspects of Jesus’s character. Some of his words and actions feel invitational and welcoming, and I don’t hesitate to draw near. Others I find confusing and bewildering and I tend to retreat from them. It’s hard for me to hold them all together in one approachable person and I had been allowing this difficulty to keep me from getting too close.

I see Jesus respond with patience and compassion to those seeking healing and hope, yet often those closest to him, his friends and family, provoke his frustration and disappointment. He speaks harsh words and responds in anger toward the religious teachers and law keepers whilst knowing that the consequences of doing so will be increasing in severity. Jesus appears able to exercise his power in front of his friends, like walking on water and other miracles but when his life is threatened at his trial, he appears powerless and faces an horrific death. He claims he’s come to save his people, but the nation remains under empire. Am I ok with that?

If Jesus reveals God/Love, is that a God/Love I want? Do I want a vulnerable God/Love who is willing to take huge risks and still leave the world in a mess?

No. Not always.

Often, I just want a God who will perceive a problem the same way as me and just fix it!

The people who seek Jesus out receive powerful questions. What are you looking for, what do you need, what do you make of this situation, of me? The answers they give reveal their heart. Like the person I was working with, I often want to keep the state of my heart hidden from myself and others. For all sorts of reasons, I think doing so makes me OK, more powerful or in control. Jesus threatens my ability to hide.

Supervision, spiritual direction, stillness and silence, being in nature, allowing the bible or poetry to read me, gathering with other seekers, all help me hear the question Jesus is asking.

I know from decades of experience that the question comes from a place of deep love and compassion and that an honest answer, however difficult, will always bring life, freedom, healing, peace, joy. However, as that supervision session showed, I still have a very human tendency to hide.   

When I’m able and willing to get out of my own way, I always experience a deeper sense of knowing myself intimately held and seen. I relax and know peace. Even though the situation I find myself in often hasn’t changed, I discover new ways of engaging with it.

Who and what encourages you to get out of your own way, to be open to being intimate with the Ultimate? To be still and know the one who formed you and loves you with an unwavering, everlasting love that gifts freedom from fear and peace in the midst of challenge?

Though I’m rooted in Christianity, I appreciate that there are many ways of encountering the truth that we are deeply loved by a force greater than ourselves, and that the path to living a full life for ourselves and others is through cultivating an open heart. If that’s a journey you are on and would appreciate a relationship that helps you be intimate with the Ultimate, I’d be delighted to work with you. Contact me for a free exploratory call.